Ellie, 6, Washington DC
Ellie, 6, Washington DC
Ellie first started wearing dresses around age 3 for dress up. We noticed that she was so much happier when she had dresses on that we would joke that we should never take them off of her! Soon she made it hard for us to do just that. By 4 she had dresses on all the time... over snow gear even. It was okay with us as we thought we just had a son who liked dresses. It didn't even occur to us that we had a daughter-- until she told us.
On Ellie's 4th birthday she had an Elsa and Lightning McQueen party. The house was filled with friends and she flitted around happily in an Elsa dress and tiara. After the party was over we were walking up to bed and I said: " You are my favorite princess boy". To that, she stopped, looked me in the eyes, and said
" I'm not a boy mama. I'm a girl in my heart and my brain."
From that point on she was a non-stop "girl". She would draw herself as girl stick figures, tell us she was a girl cartoon character, and shortly after asked her brother to call her "sister". He did.
Before Ellie socially transitioned, she was a quiet, somewhat taciturn little child. She didn't have many friends and hid a lot. While we do have a lot of smiling pictures, if we were in public or out, she would hide and not talk to people. That all changed when we switched pronoun and then name. We made the decision in the car one day on the way to a museum. When we got out of the car she ran up to a mom and her child and said " Hi! I'm Ellie! What's your name!" From then out she made friends, was playful, and way more outgoing. She's certainly an introvert... but she's a happy one.
We have had 100% support. We sent a letter to all family and friends including the families in the class that Ellie was in. It included how and why we made the decision as well as resources. It also encouraged them to ask us questions if they had them. IF people don't agree, they at least respect our daughter by using the right name and pronoun.
Ellie is many things. She's a phenomenal artist. She loves her brother dearly and hugs him all the time. She giggles and says her favorite talent is running. She is a climber, a jumper, a little rambunctious child... and she happens to be transgender. I just hope her light can always shine. Ellie wants to be an art teacher-police woman - runner. That won't be hard right?
I hope that as people like us share our stories that others will take the time to read them... really read them. I hope they ask questions, learn, and educate themselves. Even if that is too much to ask, I hope that people, at the very least, respect others' identities and think about what they would want for their child.
While they may not choose to have a trans child,