Audrey,5, Northern, CA

Audrey, 5 Northern, CA

At around 2.5 years old, I thought my child was probably gay. I just had this feeling. My child acted differently towards high heels, jewelry, and dresses than my older son. About 2 years later, she transitioned to living as a girl and everything clicked into place.  Audrey said she was a girl inside and that we were confused because we thought she was a boy. She told us she felt like he was pretending.

Over the course of a year, our child expressed that they wanted to be a girl when they got older. She slowly started wearing dresses in the house, then out front, and finally out to events. Her passion for being a girl continually strengthened and by the time he was 4.5 years old, he was ready to own the fact that he was truly a girl.

Our daughter completely transformed when we accepted her for who she was. She was no longer shy around others. She also stopped being so sad and withdrawn from others. She started acting more confident with who she was and expressed this to others. Friends told me how different she was since she transitioned too.

She also finally didn’t need to present as an extreme girl. After the transition, she started to play with a variety of toys, not just the ‘girly’ toys.

Most people have been extremely supportive. I think the people who were close by and witnessed the two years of her transition realized how natural it was. People who live far away and do not interact with her very much had a much harder time and are still having a difficult time accepting her.

We are never sure when to tell someone new. We want to respect our daughter and her right to choose who and when to come out, but she is also five and she is not old enough to understand some of the repercussions of her decisions. She is also very adamant about not wanting her penis and cannot wait to get it removed. This is challenging as she will need to wait at least another 13 years for this to be a possibility. It is also difficult as a parent to listen to your child talk about not loving their entire body.

Every time Audrey makes a wish it is always the same. She wishes to marry a boy and have babies with him. I hope that by the time she is old enough, that this can truly be a reality for her.

Our daughter Audrey is truly happy with who she is now and loves being a girl.

She knew who she was before she could even talk. It was us, her parents, who needed to learn who she was and not just depend on her birth sex. Listening, accepting, and loving unconditionally each other created our family’s strong bond.

There are so many stories that have been shared by families with transgender youth or by transgender youth themselves. We hope others watch these with an open mind and an open heart.