Eli, Bergen, NJ

Eli, 13, Bergen, NJ

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt like a boy; It just took me some time to fully understand my feelings, express myself, and put my feelings into words. The feelings that I felt back when I was just in Kindergarten have not changed.  I just confirmed my identity to those around me. I knew that what I felt was definitely not what most would call “normal” I felt doubtful about choosing to come out to my parents. But I knew what I felt was no joke and that no matter what I tried to put into my head, I always felt most comfortable in typically male roles.

I was pretty much able to express myself from a very young age. I chose to be the dad or brother in imaginative play. I would always feel more comfortable in these roles and ultimately denied a typically female role. One vivid memory that I have—a traumatizing one at that—is the few times that world war three would erupt the second I got anywhere near a dress.

Once I was living as myself, I felt more at ease and relaxed. My parents often say that once I came out to my friends that I was so much happier. Before, I would get in random bursts of anger out of nowhere. It’s important to say that my character didn’t change in coming out and living as my true self, and I was still the same kid that I was before coming out to my friends, just claiming a different name and pronouns.

Coming out to my friends was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. Every single kid supported me, and I was not misgendered or called by my old name unless it was a genuine accident. One thing that stuck out at me the most from my transition was receiving a stack of notecards from every kid in my whole grade, leaving a kind and positive message of support to me, and saying that they would have my back at all times. Along with my friends, my whole family was 100% supportive. They were on board with me and had my back.

People often think that when somebody transitions, they will lose their child or friend, but in reality, no matter what name I went by or what pronouns I used, I was always the same kid that I always was. I never lost my character or traits. I was just using a new name and pronouns that I knew would make me much happier and comfortable.

The biggest reward that I have received in my transition was knowing that I changed people and have changed people's views on what it means to be trans. I know that if any of my friends were to one day have a transgender child, they would be able to give their child love and support, in the same way my parents gave me their love and support means the world to me.

Some fun facts about me are that I have been on the cover of National Geographic, I have presented on Allyship at Apple and New York Life, and finally, I am an Ice hockey goalie. 

I hope that one day I will be able to travel the world and teach others about what it means to be transgender and how to be the best ally that you can be. I love teaching others and sharing my knowledge on gender. I find it most rewarding knowing that I have changed somebody's mind on trans issues.